Rawr so frustrated. Dad came home and started nagging over basically nothing. I hate it when people start getting angsty for no reason and I'm left in a less than perfect mood too. And it's not helping when I suddenly recall so many random things that are worth some worrying on my part lol. It's like for the past year, I've kinda put all these issues aside for awhile. Shelved them because I thought it was going to be irrelevant forever. Then now it just seems like everything's creeping back to me. Maybe I'm just overreacting idk. Maybe I always have and they weren't even major issues to begin with. I just happened to magnify it psychologically.
Sigh this is so bad. Why do I not learn at all. I feel overwhelmed with a myriad of emotions. Just come back and make things right, will you? Will anybody? I feel a little part of me dying everyday and I don't know how long I can keep up with this. When will I free myself from this torment once and for all?
I just feel so incomplete, unaccomplished. Being neither here nor there. Directions (and a cute oppa to lead the way kthxbai).
You know sometimes you just look back at the things you did and said. And you just ask yourself why. You try justifying your actions and it all makes sense to you internally. Then you let the matter rest, at the same time, giving motivational pep talks to people you meet, telling them that they should live without regrets and take adversity in their stride because at the end of the day, there'll always be a silver lining to every cloud and everything happens for a reason blahbity blahbity blah. Then a while later, you look back again at what you did, and also at the dumb self assured pep talks you gave others, and you start feeling like the world's biggest loser.
Because how many people actually walk the talk and practise what they preach.
Hypocritical like me.
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